Passing on some more humor.....Have a great day Rick > Science Humor > -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- > > The following are all quotes from 11 year olds' science exams: > > "When you breath, you inspire. When you do not > breath, you expire." > > "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water" > > "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a > flame in a test tube" > > "When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably > carbon monoxide" > > "Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not > found in a free state" > > "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and > Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and > water." > > "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and > caterpillars." > > "Blood flows down one leg and up the other." > > "Respiration is composed of two acts, first > inspiration, and then expectoration." > > "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is > even deader." > > "Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it > to the cow instead of the bull." > > "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines > down on them and makes them perspire." > > "A super-saturated solution is one that holds more > than it can hold." > > "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so > they look like umbrellas." > > "The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the > borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium > contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and > lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the > bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u." > > "The pistol of a flower is its only protection against > insects." > > "The alimentary canal is located in the northern > part of Indiana." > > "The skeleton is what is left after the insides have > been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. > The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch > meat to." > > "A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, > eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors." > > "The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. > All water tends towards the moon, because there is > no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. > I forget where the sun joins in this fight." > > "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the > more extinct it is." > > "Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will > have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a > large misconception." > > "Equator: A managerie lion running around the > Earth through Africa." > > "Germinate: To become a naturalized German." > > "Liter: A nest of young puppies." > > "Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a > dead cat." > > "Momentum: What you give a person when they > are going away." > > "Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky." > > "Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot." > > "Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope > lives." > > "Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the > blood is affirmative or negative." > > "To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down > over the nose." > > "For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the > body until the heart stops." > > "For drowning: Climb on top of the person and > move up and down to make artifical perspiration." > > "For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, > rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head > between the knees of the nearest medical doctor." > > "For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days. If > he has not recovered, then kill it." > > "For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until > the patient is dead." > > "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium." > > "For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose > untill it drops in your throat." > > "To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the > cow." ############################################################## IPC Designers Council Mail List provided as a free service by IPC using LISTSERV 1.8c ############################################################## To subscribe/unsubscribe, send a message to [log in to unmask] with following text in the body: To subscribe: SUBSCRIBE DESIGNERCOUNCIL <your full name> To unsubscribe: SIGNOFF DESIGNERCOUNCIL ############################################################## Please visit IPC web site (http://www.ipc.org/html/forum.htm) for additional information. For the technical support contact Dmitriy Sklyar at [log in to unmask] or 847-509-9700 ext.311 ##############################################################