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December 1999

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From:
Phil Zarrow <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
TechNet E-Mail Forum.
Date:
Fri, 17 Dec 1999 09:04:07 EST
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Hi Technetsters -
Just where would this world be without engineers?  In your work and in your
life, try not to overanalyse things.
Happy Holidays to all.
Phil Zarrow
ITM, Inc.
Durham, NH  USA
www.ITM-SMT.com

  Is There A Santa Claus?

 1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are
     300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and
      while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule
      out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the
     world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim,
     Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of
      the  total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At
     an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8
     million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in
     each.

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to
    the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming
    he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to
    822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian
    household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop
    out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute
    the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been
    left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to
    the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are
    evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be
    false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are
    now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2
    million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least
    once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
    This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per
     second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of
    comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space
probe,
    moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second; a conventional reindeer can run,
    tops, 15 miles per hour.

 4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting
     element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a
     medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300
     tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On
     land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even
     granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES
     the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.
     We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even
     counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for
comparison
     - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
     5.353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates
     enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the
     same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead
     pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per
     second each. In short, they will burst into flame almost
     instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create
     deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will
     be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile,
     will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than
     gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be
     pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

      In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas
      Eve, he's dead now.

      I can't wait to question my parents!

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