FYI:
Dateline: Toronto, Canada "The Closest Chapter to the North Pole"
On behalf of the Toronto Chapter, We would like to wish each of you and
your families a safe and Happy Holiday Season and all the best for the New
Year.
Looking forward to another great year. Cheers.
Your Committee Members,
Ignatious Chong, Glenn Rutherford & Greg Bordash.
(For all of those who have a funny bone read on.)
ENGINEERS TAKE THE FUN OUT OF CHRISTMAS
> There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in
> the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim,
> Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces
> the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378
> million(according to the population reference bureau). At an
> average (census)rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108
> million homes,presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa
> has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
> time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which
> seems logical).
> This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that
> for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around
> 1/1000 th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney,
> fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat
> whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump
> into
> the sleigh and get onto the next house.
>
> Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed
> around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will
> accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking
> about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not
counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is
> moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For
> purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space
probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional
> reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
>
> The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming
> that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two
> pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting
> Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more
> than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10
> times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine
> of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the
> payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or
roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the
> monarch). 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous
> air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion
> as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
> reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second
> each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously,
> exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms
> in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within
> 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the
fifth house on his trip.
> Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating
> from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
> acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by
> 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and
> reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
>
> Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
>
> Merry Christmas.
>
> Regards, Greg.
>
> Gregory E. Bordash,
> Team Leader, PCB CAD Group
> ATI Technologies Inc.,
> 33 Commerce Valley Drive East,
> Thornhill, Ontario, Canada, L3T 7N6
> Phone:(905) 882-2600 ext: 8370, Fax: (905) 882-9339
> Email: [log in to unmask]
>
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