As far as happy cows in California, you may have the reason nailed. But here's one of those commercials with a mention of Dave in it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcGD29NwENI
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From: Douglas Pauls <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: Friday, September 13, 2013 6:50 AM
Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz Question
I have this one. The element Dave refers to is another half fractional
element (imagine that): Creamium, which lies between lithium and sodium in
the periodic table, but has an electron pair configuration similar to
aluminum. Creamium was often found in and around bauxite deposits and was
considered to be an undesirable material as it often melted at 37.48C,
making the bauxite very slippery and difficult to handle, and it induced a
mysterious craving for croissants in bauxite miners. When you filter all
the bauxite/aluminum out of the Creamium, it does take on a pale yellow
hue. Not many people know this (imagine that), but the Butter Cow, made
each year at the Iowa State Fair, contains 24% Creamium as it has a higher
structural strength than does normal butter.
There are huge natural deposits of Creamium in the upper Midwest in the US
(Wisconsin, Iowa, Minnesota), and in Switzerland. One of the foremost
researchers of Creamium has been Dr. Fernando Margarine (how ironic) at
the University of Wisconsin - Madison. Dr. Margarine found that the most
efficient way to separate out the Creamium from the aluminum was to
actually feed it to dairy cattle, whose digestive process formed pellets
of Creamium in the excrement. His grad students had the job of recovering
the Creamium pellets from the cow flop, which is where we get the phrase,
this is a shitty job. As noted above, Creamium lends structural strength,
and cow flops with a high amount of Creamium are prized at the annual
Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw competition. Dr. Margarine published most
of his work in 1793, which was pretty staggering considering that UW-M was
not founded till 1848. But as a graduate of that facility, I can tell you
that logic does not slow that institution one damn bit. Dr. Margarine
came to a sad end, I am sorry to say. He wondered if humans could also
refine Creamium as do cattle. He ate enough of it that is colon fused
shut and the resulting methane generation cause quite an explosion,
killing Dr. Margarine and his research staff instantly. Even today in
Wisconsin, you can hear people say that Margarine will kill you, but
butter won't.
As a side note, there have been an ugly set of commercials on TV of late,
suggesting that California cows are happier than Wisconsin cows,
presumably because of differences in Creamium content. It's a vicious
lie. California cows are happier than Wisconsin cows because they graze
in fields of Marijuana. So they are stoned, not "happy". It's also why
California butter leaves you feeling hungrier. Wisconsin cows - home of
truth, justice, and true American Dairy products.
Anyway, Dave mentions that countries have gone to war over Creamium, but
that is kind of a stretch. Dave refers to the Liechtenstein-Swiss War of
1803. Both countries claimed to have cows that were superior in refining
Creamium. Some ugly rhetoric was put forth by both sides, and after
several months of lobbing chunks of depleted-Creamium cow flops across the
border, the combatants agreed to disagree over a few steins of good beer.
I shall now wait as my esteemed colleague disqualifies me from half a
world away.
Doug Pauls
From: "David D. Hillman" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Date: 09/13/2013 05:33 AM
Subject: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz Question
Sent by: TechNet <[log in to unmask]>
Hi folks - Here is the Friday Element Quiz Question (coming from sunny
Melbourne Australia):
The Question:
This element will float on water. This element looks like aluminum but can
be cut with a butter knife. This element is heated to a liquid phase,
poured into rail tank cars where it then solidifies for transport. Once
the tank car arrives at its destination, heaters re-liquify this element
for removal. Countries have gone to war over this element. The pure form
of this element is not found in nature. This element is essential for
humans. What element is being described?
The winner of the weekly element quiz is will get the services of Clumpy
and Kloumpios for the week.
So far Clumpy and Kloumpios have done the following:
Past Quiz winners/tasks:
Week 1 Dick Krug, Spartan Complex Systems
Week 2 Laura Turbini, IRC
Week 3 James Head, Crowcon Detection Instruments Limited
Week 3 Pat Goodyear, PGE
Week 4 Joe Russeau, Precision Analysts Laboratory
Week 5 Tom Carroll, Boeing Defense, Space and Security
Week 6 Steve Gregory
Week 7 Phil Kinner
Week 8 Brian Ellis
Week 9 James Head, Crowcon Detection Instruments Limited
Week 10 Leland Woodall, CSTech Inc.
Week 11 Keith Calhoun, Sopark Corp
Week 12 Matthias Mansfeld, Mansfeld-Elektronik
Week 13 Leland Woodall, CSTech Inc.
Week 14 Brian Ellis
Week 15 Tom Carroll, Boeing Defense, Space and Security
Week 16 Steve Gregory
Week 17 Phil Kinner
Week 18 Ian Braddock, MBDA Systems
Week 19 Leland Woodall, CSTech Inc.
Week 20 Denny Fritz
Week 21 Amol Kane
Week 21 Dewey Whittaker, Honeywell
Week 21 David Bealer, Watch Fire Signs
Week 22 Phil Kinner
Week 23 Guy Ramsey, RD Circuits
Week 24 Mark Kostinovsky, Schlumberger
- The boys have been working hard and surely deserve some break. I'm
fixin' to be nice to the boys and just let them sit on my porch, have a
Texas drink, relax and enjoy our weather. This summer's been kinda cold
around here: has not even hit 40C (104F) yet.
Week 25 Keith Calhoun, Sopark Corp
- The guys arrived safely, and I sent them to the Erie County Fair. They
loved the antique tractor/ live steam exhibit, and are now figuring out
what class their John Deere's can run in the Truck and Tractor pull.
They are also having a ball in the beer garden. I'm not sure I will get
anything constructive out of them this week but they sure are having
fun!
Week 26 Paul Reid, PWB Interconnect Solutions Inc
- Well it's time for Clumpy and Kloumpios to join me for some Canadian
wilderness camping in Algonquin Park, Ontario. What we'll do is put the
canoe on the van, load up our camping gear, and then we'll head the
North East area of Algonquin Park. We'll put in on the Barron River and
canoe up to the river to a portage point where Clumpy and Kloumpios will
be asked to portage the canoe and gear for about half a kilometer, past
some falls, until we put back into the river. What we'll do then is
canoe about a mile up stream and setup camp on a beautiful point of land
that over looks the Barron Cliffs and has a pine tree every much like
The Jack Pine http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Jackpine.jpeg that was
painted by Tom Thomson in 1916. I'll start fishing; they will do the
cooking and cleaning. We will relax for a few days then we'll head back
to Ottawa (given the mosquitoes don't carry us away). Dave - Maybe we can
meet you on the Ottawa River some time next week.
Week 27 Greg Munie, IPC
- Since it's getting close to time for the Abbey's grape harvest/wine
making I'll get the monks to put them up at the Abbey guest house. From
there it's just a short walk to the vineyard. Of course the food at the
Abbey may be a little, ah, Spartan, for their tastes. But I can give them
enough pruning, weeding and cleanup to do to keep them busy all week.
(Maybe I can even get them to do the water run for the vegetable garden!
They'd probably like driving the old tractor.) And for a special perk they
can have the honor of the company of Benny, the Abbey Golden Retriever!
Week 28 ????
- assisted with ????
Everyone have a safe week!
Dave Hillman
Rockwell Collins
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