The answer, of course, is Talcium (Tk), another of the half fractional 
elements (amazing how many there are, eh?).  It is an odd half fractional 
as it appears between Sulfur and Selenium in the periodic table.  It has 
the lubricating characteristics of a sulfur rich compound (e.g. 
Polysulfones) and the dandruff fighting characteristics of Selenium. 

Almost all parents are familiar with Talcum powder, a blend of corn starch 
(and we in Iowa just love corn products) and Talcium.  It's what makes a 
baby's butt so smooth.  Also helps fight pediatric dandruff.  I happen to 
know Ma Hillman (she likes me better than Dave) who said Dave has fought 
that dandruff thing all his life.  His hair is actually black, but that 
whitish/gray coloration - Dandruff.  Could also be from raising two 
teenage sons.  The jury is still out.

The Chaldeans were indeed the first ones to make productive use of Talcium 
and it helped ensure that their military dominance continued for a long 
period in the ancient world.  The capital city of Ur was located on a good 
sized hill.  The surrounding area was rich in Talcium deposits. Attacking 
armies continually slipped and slided, making them easy targets for the 
archers.  When the Chaldean armies invaded other areas, they took powdered 
Talcium with them, liberally seeded the battlefield during the night and 
then sat back to watch the fun.   The dominance continued until the 
Babylonians discovered a counter-strategy.  They waited until the wind was 
at their backs, then the soldiers would beat the ground with massive 
brooms, causing the light Talcium to rise, coating the Chaldeans with the 
material.  It is actually where the term "clean sweep" comes from.  True 
story.

I do all this so that Hillman has to hire additional staff on his drunken 
Board to research reasons to disqualify me.

Oh, just to wrap up the first Round, when the boys got back to Cedar 
Rapids, I sent them and their wives to a wonderful bed and breakfast up in 
Red Wing, Minnesota for a long weekend.  Got my Boy Scout Troop (handy 
being a Scoutmaster) and did all the home maintenance tasks which had 
accumulated in two years.  The wives were very pleased and the Scouts got 
Merit Badges in Home Repair and Gnome Lore.  And I sampled Clumpy's store 
of Akavit.  Everyone wins.

Doug Pauls


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