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April 2010

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Sat, 10 Apr 2010 14:04:18 -0700
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Just had to give you these:

Q: How do you stop a fish from smelling?

A: Fit it with a nose cone.

Q: Listen, I mean how do you stop the smelling of a fish

A: I put it in my nose.



Adults: 1 tablet 3 times a day until passing away." -- From instructions on 
a Japanese medicine bottle.


Hey, you there! Open those windows. Let the air force come in!" -- Spoken by 
a teacher for whom English was a second language

Strawberry crap." -- From a menu in Japan.

"Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce." -- From a menu in 
China

"We could talk, eat snakes and laugh

Specialist in women and other diseases." -- A sign outside of Roman doctor's 
office

"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet 
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday." -- A sign 
in a Moscow hotel across the street from a Russian Orthodox monastery

"Our staffs are always here waiting for you to patronize them." -- From an 
advertisement for a hotel in Tokyo


?Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
?Witness: "July 15th."
?Lawyer: "What year?"
?Witness: "Every year."


AND THE BEST ONE:

?Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a 
pulse?"
?Witness: "No."
?Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
?Witness: "No."
?Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
?Witness: "No."
?Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began 
the autopsy?"
?Witness: "No."
?Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
?Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
?Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
?Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing 
law somewhere."

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Inge" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: den 10 April 2010 08:28
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz - The Answer Is......

> Right, it's a C4.  I mixed the terms.  I feel sorry for not being able to 
> have that beauty. My wife, who is very 'understanding' comforted me and 
> said 'Darling, I have the solution'.....I cocked my ears... ' you can buy 
> a diamond necklace to me instead'.     Women....
> /Inge
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Bob Landman" <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: den 10 April 2010 07:06
> To: "Inge" <[log in to unmask]>
> Cc: <[log in to unmask]>
> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz - The Answer Is......
>
>> Inge,
>>
>> Sigh...,  I sold my 1988 Corvette Convertable a few years ago for as  you 
>> I had no place to keep it when we moved here (NH) from SF CA and  like 
>> you we needed all year use of a second car.  Thanks for the  reminder 
>> that I need to get the summer tires put on the Jag (XJ6) -  traded in the 
>> Vette for it.
>>
>> By the way, the '88 isn't a Stingray - that's the model in the 70s as  I 
>> recall.
>>
>> Sure was a blast to drive... 6 speed stick.  Va roooooommmmmm!!!
>>
>> Bob
>>
>> P.s. Think of all the speeding tickets you won't be getting....
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>> On Apr 9, 2010, at 12:58 PM, Inge <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>
>>> Hi Steve,
>>>
>>> Friday again! What are you doing this weekend?  Spring tour with you 
>>> car to some awsome valley with picknic basket and camera?
>>> Or just relaxing and reading? Or going home to old parents? Or what? 
>>> You do no tell much about your free time.
>>>
>>> I was exposed to a very challenging temptation today. Visited the 
>>> garage service that I use for various jobs. This time for going back  to 
>>> summer tires.  The owner had a car that he use no longer. He  asked me 
>>> if I was interested in a proposal.  Why not, I said, and he  opened a 
>>> door and signed me to step in. This one can be yours for a  reasonable 
>>> price. How much, I asked. Well, what are you willing to  pay, he said. 
>>> I mentioned a ridiculous sum of 10,000 USD. OK, it  can be yours.  The 
>>> car is a 1988 Corvette Stingray, white paint,  refurbished in all 
>>> details, red skin, new tires,  in a very good  finish in the whole. 
>>> But I have no garage for it.  Such a car must  be locked in every night 
>>> here.  And being inside in the winter. What  a pity!  I will never get a 
>>> chance like that any more.
>>>
>>> Now, Steve, what about giving the clever guys a Friday quiz? Harder  to 
>>> guess than the last one.
>>>
>>> See you.
>>>
>>> Inge
>>>
>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>> From: "Steve Gregory" <[log in to unmask]>
>>> Sent: den 5 April 2010 04:27ha
>>> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz - The Answer Is......
>>>
>>>> Hi Inge,
>>>>
>>>> Here's your thing:
>>>>
>>>> http://stevezeva.homestead.com/files/guessing.jpg
>>>>
>>>> I don't have a clue, could be anything. Give us a little hint...
>>>>
>>>> Steve
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: TechNet [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Inge
>>>> Sent: Saturday, April 03, 2010 3:58 AM
>>>> To: [log in to unmask]
>>>> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz - The Answer Is......
>>>>
>>>> Allright, I misunderstood your message.  Read it as Group 2, not  type 
>>>> 2.
>>>> Otherwise, if it had been Group 2, Polonium had been a viable 
>>>> candidate,
>>>> excep for the elecltron transportation properties.  It's not as  good a
>>>> conductor, neither a good insulator. If it has semiconductor 
>>>> properties, I
>>>> don't know.
>>>>
>>>> I like your little quiz mails.  Good for thinking. More of that, 
>>>> please.
>>>>
>>>> To continue the thread until next Friday, I send a picture to  Steve, 
>>>> and I
>>>> ask 'What's that thing?'
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Inge
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>> From: "David D. Hillman" <[log in to unmask]>
>>>> Sent: den 2 April 2010 14:23
>>>> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>>> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz - The Answer Is......
>>>>
>>>>> Hi folks! Here is the answer to the Friday Element Quiz:
>>>>>
>>>>> Question:
>>>>> I am a type 2 semiconductor and a ductile HCP metal. I am  radioactive
>>>>> and three of my isotopes are relatively long lived with low energy
>>>>> beta rays and very weak gamma rays that pose only a moderate  threat. 
>>>>> Who
>>>>> am I?
>>>>>
>>>>> Answer: I am the element Technetium (Tc), #43 on the Periodic Table
>>>>>
>>>>> Bonus points - This element has a characteristic property that is
>>>>> unique/the best of all the metallic elements. What property is it?
>>>>> Hint - it has to do with temperature
>>>>>
>>>>> Bonus points answer: the highest ambient pressure superconducting
>>>>> transition temperature (11.4K)
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> No winner this week so Doug's chair is safe.
>>>>>
>>>>> Hope to see folks at IPC next week.
>>>>>
>>>>> Dave Hillman
>>>>> Rockwell Collins
>>>>> [log in to unmask]
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Inge <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>> Sent by: TechNet <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>> 04/02/2010 01:07 PM
>>>>> Please respond to
>>>>> Inge <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> To
>>>>> [log in to unmask]
>>>>> cc
>>>>>
>>>>> Subject
>>>>> Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Yes, that is why we speak about thermonuclear weapons.....10exp 6 
>>>>> degrees
>>>>>
>>>>> at least
>>>>> Inge
>>>>>
>>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>> From: "John Burke" <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>> Sent: den 2 April 2010 10:50
>>>>> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz
>>>>>
>>>>>> And of course finds an alternate use as the "target" in atom
>>>>>> bombs...........8-)
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> John Burke
>>>>>> (408) 515 4992
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: TechNet [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Inge
>>>>>> Sent: Friday, April 02, 2010 10:23 AM
>>>>>> To: [log in to unmask]
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi Dave,  am not sure, but the NASA people use to speak about 
>>>>>> Polonium,
>>>>> a
>>>>>> variant of group 2 Radium. No other metal can dissipate so much  heat 
>>>>>> as
>>>>>> Polonium, therefore it is of interest for space vehicles.  Just a 
>>>>>> wild
>>>>>> guess.
>>>>>> Inge
>>>>>>
>>>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>>> From: "Joyce Koo" <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>> Sent: den 2 April 2010 08:27
>>>>>> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> You are david make by carbon.  Plus other impurities.
>>>>>>> --------------------------
>>>>>>> Sent using BlackBerry
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>> From: TechNet <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>>> To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>>> Sent: Fri Apr 02 09:50:34 2010
>>>>>>> Subject: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hi folks! Seems to be a slow day on Technet so here is a Friday
>>>>>>> Element
>>>>>>> Quiz:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Question:
>>>>>>> I am a type 2 semiconductor and a ductile HCP metal. I am 
>>>>>>> radioactive
>>>>>>> and three of my isotopes are relatively long lived with low energy
>>>>>>> beta rays and very weak gamma rays that pose only a moderate 
>>>>>>> threat.
>>>>> Who
>>>>>> am I?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Bonus points - This element has a characteristic property that is
>>>>>>> unique/the best of all the metallic elements. What property is it?
>>>>>>> Hint - it has to do with temperature
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> The winner of the quiz will get Doug's chair (Graham Naisbitt has
>>>>>>> claim to his Diet Mt. Dew stores)
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Dave Hillman
>>>>>>> Rockwell Collins
>>>>>>> [log in to unmask]
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> ______________________________________________________________________
>>
>>
>>>>>>> This email has been scanned by the MessageLabs Email Security 
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>>
>>
>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>
>>>>>> ______________________________________________________________________
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>>>>>>
>>>>>> ______________________________________________________________________
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>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> ______________________________________________________________________
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>>
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>>>>
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>>>>
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>>
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