Just had to give you these:
Q: How do you stop a fish from smelling?
A: Fit it with a nose cone.
Q: Listen, I mean how do you stop the smelling of a fish
A: I put it in my nose.
Adults: 1 tablet 3 times a day until passing away." -- From instructions on
a Japanese medicine bottle.
Hey, you there! Open those windows. Let the air force come in!" -- Spoken by
a teacher for whom English was a second language
Strawberry crap." -- From a menu in Japan.
"Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce." -- From a menu in
China
"We could talk, eat snakes and laugh
Specialist in women and other diseases." -- A sign outside of Roman doctor's
office
"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday." -- A sign
in a Moscow hotel across the street from a Russian Orthodox monastery
"Our staffs are always here waiting for you to patronize them." -- From an
advertisement for a hotel in Tokyo
?Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
?Witness: "July 15th."
?Lawyer: "What year?"
?Witness: "Every year."
AND THE BEST ONE:
?Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?"
?Witness: "No."
?Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
?Witness: "No."
?Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
?Witness: "No."
?Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?"
?Witness: "No."
?Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
?Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
?Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
?Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law somewhere."
--------------------------------------------------
From: "Inge" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: den 10 April 2010 08:28
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz - The Answer Is......
> Right, it's a C4. I mixed the terms. I feel sorry for not being able to
> have that beauty. My wife, who is very 'understanding' comforted me and
> said 'Darling, I have the solution'.....I cocked my ears... ' you can buy
> a diamond necklace to me instead'. Women....
> /Inge
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Bob Landman" <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: den 10 April 2010 07:06
> To: "Inge" <[log in to unmask]>
> Cc: <[log in to unmask]>
> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz - The Answer Is......
>
>> Inge,
>>
>> Sigh..., I sold my 1988 Corvette Convertable a few years ago for as you
>> I had no place to keep it when we moved here (NH) from SF CA and like
>> you we needed all year use of a second car. Thanks for the reminder
>> that I need to get the summer tires put on the Jag (XJ6) - traded in the
>> Vette for it.
>>
>> By the way, the '88 isn't a Stingray - that's the model in the 70s as I
>> recall.
>>
>> Sure was a blast to drive... 6 speed stick. Va roooooommmmmm!!!
>>
>> Bob
>>
>> P.s. Think of all the speeding tickets you won't be getting....
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>> On Apr 9, 2010, at 12:58 PM, Inge <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>
>>> Hi Steve,
>>>
>>> Friday again! What are you doing this weekend? Spring tour with you
>>> car to some awsome valley with picknic basket and camera?
>>> Or just relaxing and reading? Or going home to old parents? Or what?
>>> You do no tell much about your free time.
>>>
>>> I was exposed to a very challenging temptation today. Visited the
>>> garage service that I use for various jobs. This time for going back to
>>> summer tires. The owner had a car that he use no longer. He asked me
>>> if I was interested in a proposal. Why not, I said, and he opened a
>>> door and signed me to step in. This one can be yours for a reasonable
>>> price. How much, I asked. Well, what are you willing to pay, he said.
>>> I mentioned a ridiculous sum of 10,000 USD. OK, it can be yours. The
>>> car is a 1988 Corvette Stingray, white paint, refurbished in all
>>> details, red skin, new tires, in a very good finish in the whole.
>>> But I have no garage for it. Such a car must be locked in every night
>>> here. And being inside in the winter. What a pity! I will never get a
>>> chance like that any more.
>>>
>>> Now, Steve, what about giving the clever guys a Friday quiz? Harder to
>>> guess than the last one.
>>>
>>> See you.
>>>
>>> Inge
>>>
>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>> From: "Steve Gregory" <[log in to unmask]>
>>> Sent: den 5 April 2010 04:27ha
>>> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz - The Answer Is......
>>>
>>>> Hi Inge,
>>>>
>>>> Here's your thing:
>>>>
>>>> http://stevezeva.homestead.com/files/guessing.jpg
>>>>
>>>> I don't have a clue, could be anything. Give us a little hint...
>>>>
>>>> Steve
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: TechNet [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Inge
>>>> Sent: Saturday, April 03, 2010 3:58 AM
>>>> To: [log in to unmask]
>>>> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz - The Answer Is......
>>>>
>>>> Allright, I misunderstood your message. Read it as Group 2, not type
>>>> 2.
>>>> Otherwise, if it had been Group 2, Polonium had been a viable
>>>> candidate,
>>>> excep for the elecltron transportation properties. It's not as good a
>>>> conductor, neither a good insulator. If it has semiconductor
>>>> properties, I
>>>> don't know.
>>>>
>>>> I like your little quiz mails. Good for thinking. More of that,
>>>> please.
>>>>
>>>> To continue the thread until next Friday, I send a picture to Steve,
>>>> and I
>>>> ask 'What's that thing?'
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Inge
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>> From: "David D. Hillman" <[log in to unmask]>
>>>> Sent: den 2 April 2010 14:23
>>>> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>>> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz - The Answer Is......
>>>>
>>>>> Hi folks! Here is the answer to the Friday Element Quiz:
>>>>>
>>>>> Question:
>>>>> I am a type 2 semiconductor and a ductile HCP metal. I am radioactive
>>>>> and three of my isotopes are relatively long lived with low energy
>>>>> beta rays and very weak gamma rays that pose only a moderate threat.
>>>>> Who
>>>>> am I?
>>>>>
>>>>> Answer: I am the element Technetium (Tc), #43 on the Periodic Table
>>>>>
>>>>> Bonus points - This element has a characteristic property that is
>>>>> unique/the best of all the metallic elements. What property is it?
>>>>> Hint - it has to do with temperature
>>>>>
>>>>> Bonus points answer: the highest ambient pressure superconducting
>>>>> transition temperature (11.4K)
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> No winner this week so Doug's chair is safe.
>>>>>
>>>>> Hope to see folks at IPC next week.
>>>>>
>>>>> Dave Hillman
>>>>> Rockwell Collins
>>>>> [log in to unmask]
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Inge <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>> Sent by: TechNet <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>> 04/02/2010 01:07 PM
>>>>> Please respond to
>>>>> Inge <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> To
>>>>> [log in to unmask]
>>>>> cc
>>>>>
>>>>> Subject
>>>>> Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Yes, that is why we speak about thermonuclear weapons.....10exp 6
>>>>> degrees
>>>>>
>>>>> at least
>>>>> Inge
>>>>>
>>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>> From: "John Burke" <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>> Sent: den 2 April 2010 10:50
>>>>> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz
>>>>>
>>>>>> And of course finds an alternate use as the "target" in atom
>>>>>> bombs...........8-)
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> John Burke
>>>>>> (408) 515 4992
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: TechNet [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Inge
>>>>>> Sent: Friday, April 02, 2010 10:23 AM
>>>>>> To: [log in to unmask]
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi Dave, am not sure, but the NASA people use to speak about
>>>>>> Polonium,
>>>>> a
>>>>>> variant of group 2 Radium. No other metal can dissipate so much heat
>>>>>> as
>>>>>> Polonium, therefore it is of interest for space vehicles. Just a
>>>>>> wild
>>>>>> guess.
>>>>>> Inge
>>>>>>
>>>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>>> From: "Joyce Koo" <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>> Sent: den 2 April 2010 08:27
>>>>>> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> You are david make by carbon. Plus other impurities.
>>>>>>> --------------------------
>>>>>>> Sent using BlackBerry
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>> From: TechNet <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>>> To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>>> Sent: Fri Apr 02 09:50:34 2010
>>>>>>> Subject: [TN] NTC Friday Element Quiz
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hi folks! Seems to be a slow day on Technet so here is a Friday
>>>>>>> Element
>>>>>>> Quiz:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Question:
>>>>>>> I am a type 2 semiconductor and a ductile HCP metal. I am
>>>>>>> radioactive
>>>>>>> and three of my isotopes are relatively long lived with low energy
>>>>>>> beta rays and very weak gamma rays that pose only a moderate
>>>>>>> threat.
>>>>> Who
>>>>>> am I?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Bonus points - This element has a characteristic property that is
>>>>>>> unique/the best of all the metallic elements. What property is it?
>>>>>>> Hint - it has to do with temperature
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> The winner of the quiz will get Doug's chair (Graham Naisbitt has
>>>>>>> claim to his Diet Mt. Dew stores)
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Dave Hillman
>>>>>>> Rockwell Collins
>>>>>>> [log in to unmask]
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> ______________________________________________________________________
>>
>>
>>>>>>> This email has been scanned by the MessageLabs Email Security
>>>>>>> System.
>>>>>>> For more information please contact helpdesk at x2960 or
>>>>>>> [log in to unmask]
>>>>>>> ______________________________________________________________________
>>
>>
>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>> [log in to unmask] or 847-615-7100 ext.2815
>>>>>>> -----------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> ---
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>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> ______________________________________________________________________
>>
>>
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>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> ______________________________________________________________________
>>
>>
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>>>>>> information, or contact Keach Sasamori at [log in to unmask] or
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>>>>>>
>>>>>> ______________________________________________________________________
>>
>>
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>>>>>> For more information please contact helpdesk at x2960 or
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>>
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>>>>> or
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>>
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>>
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>>>> or
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-----------------------------------------------------
|