Yah, from quite a few years ago. The really weird part is Dave has a copy
of this one printed out and stored in his planner.
I'm a workin' on another one. Stay tuned.
Doug Pauls
"David D. Hillman" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent by: TechNet <[log in to unmask]>
12/22/2009 09:35 AM
Please respond to
TechNet E-Mail Forum <[log in to unmask]>; Please respond to
[log in to unmask]
To
[log in to unmask]
cc
Subject
Re: [TN] NTC - Merry Christmas - anyone out there?
Hi folks - yea, its not Friday but what the heck! Here is a "Technet
Holiday Classic":
Author: Doug Pauls, Rockwell Collins (and he is rumored to be an elf)
A Consultants Week
I sit at my desk, all covered in paper
IPA and match, I know I've felt safer
Now that its Friday, I'm feeling so glad
Let me tell you about the week I've had
My publisher called Monday, said my columns too wordy
Cut down the length from 4000 to 430
"Whole forests die every time you start typing"
My staff falls down laughing, me silently griping
I got an odd phone call, a man name of Leon
He said "Golly gee, I can't see to find Freon"
I kept my voice level and tried not to snear
"They stopped making the stuff 'round the end of the last year"
"Then I've got a problem", I prepared for a session
Of what promised to be a fun set of questions
I asked of the man, before addressing his fears
"What island have you been living on these past 5 years?"
Fours hours later, his course now was clear
I hung up the phone, now deaf in one ear
Sat back in my chair and wished for a beer
15 voice mails were pending, better shift into high gear
The next call I had was a true conflagration
A fire had stared from metal migration
I did lots of testing, and in a real hurry
to find out the reason his boards grew so furry
I privately thought "What a bunch of dumb clucks"
Forgetting to clean off that bad HASL flux
"Not so" said the fool, as he puffed out his chest
"My Ionograph says my boards are the best"
I rolled my eyes, put a hand to my head
These were the talks that I'd come to much dread
So I launched myself into standard speech four
Two hours later - my voice gone- my throat sore
I log onto TechNet and read through the postings
Potatoes the topic - molten solder for roasting
Solder mask problems and problems with plating
Cupples expounding, Hillman orating
A whole week like this, with topics diverse
Some talks went much better, and some were much worst
Zinc chlorides as no cleans, "Is masonite clean?"
Potting with tar so no defects are seen
White residue questions, defects no one can see
How do you qualify to J-STD-1B?
Leads that won't solder, black solder joints
How to spell "SIR" (that got bonus points!)
Converting to no cleans - "I've got all this week"
For my 50 products what one flux to seek
Reports to be written, explanations are made
"Write for my boss, who graduated third grade"
How to do this, how to do that
Solving 10 problems at the drop of a hat
You would not believe the things that I hear
It's a dream job for this engineer
Merry Christmas All Y'all (the proper plural for Y'all)
Happy Holidays Technet!
Dave Hillman
Rockwell Collins
---------------------------------------------------
Technet Mail List provided as a service by IPC using LISTSERV 15.0
To unsubscribe, send a message to [log in to unmask] with following text in
the BODY (NOT the subject field): SIGNOFF Technet
To temporarily halt or (re-start) delivery of Technet send e-mail to
[log in to unmask]: SET Technet NOMAIL or (MAIL)
To receive ONE mailing per day of all the posts: send e-mail to
[log in to unmask]: SET Technet Digest
Search the archives of previous posts at: http://listserv.ipc.org/archives
Please visit IPC web site http://www.ipc.org/contentpage.asp?Pageid=4.3.16
for additional information, or contact Keach Sasamori at [log in to unmask] or
847-615-7100 ext.2815
-----------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------
Technet Mail List provided as a service by IPC using LISTSERV 15.0
To unsubscribe, send a message to [log in to unmask] with following text in
the BODY (NOT the subject field): SIGNOFF Technet
To temporarily halt or (re-start) delivery of Technet send e-mail to [log in to unmask]: SET Technet NOMAIL or (MAIL)
To receive ONE mailing per day of all the posts: send e-mail to [log in to unmask]: SET Technet Digest
Search the archives of previous posts at: http://listserv.ipc.org/archives
Please visit IPC web site http://www.ipc.org/contentpage.asp?Pageid=4.3.16 for additional information, or contact Keach Sasamori at [log in to unmask] or 847-615-7100 ext.2815
-----------------------------------------------------
|
