TECHNET Archives

January 2009

TechNet@IPC.ORG

Options: Use Monospaced Font
Show Text Part by Default
Show All Mail Headers

Message: [<< First] [< Prev] [Next >] [Last >>]
Topic: [<< First] [< Prev] [Next >] [Last >>]
Author: [<< First] [< Prev] [Next >] [Last >>]

Print Reply
Subject:
From:
Steven Creswick <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
TechNet E-Mail Forum <[log in to unmask]>, Steven Creswick <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Mon, 26 Jan 2009 09:27:51 -0500
Content-Type:
text/plain
Parts/Attachments:
text/plain (176 lines)
Randall,

Very interesting to hear many of the quirks of the English language.  Oh
what a burden we have to bare.  My I add one to the UP list??

For those blessed to live in the frozen, unemployed state of Michigan, UP
also stands for Upper Peninsula and the people that live in that beatiful
frozen area are called Uppers [You-pers].

Steve

On Fri, Jan 23, 2009 at 8:24 AM, Randall L Bock <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> Funny for the day….
>
> From: [log in to unmask] [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: Friday, January 23, 2009 8:17 AM
> To: Agacinski, Gerry; Barardi, Michelle; Bock, Cal and Kay; Randall L Bock;
> Brenda; Buckley, Joyce ; Burroughs, Larry; Butler, Beverly; Collins, Steve;
> Diane; Edwards, Beverly; Gileczek, Richard; Hafner, Denise; Janet;
> Krakowiak, Janet; Lane, Linda and Brad; Mann, Marjorie; Monica; Patton,
> Cherie; Wheat, Mike; Wheat, Pamela; Wilke, Mary Jo
> Subject: English
>
> Subject: English - interesting
>
> THIS IS GREAT!!!
> Read all the way to the end.............. This took a lot of work to put
> together!!!
>
>
> You think English is easy???
>
>
>
>
>
> Read to the end . . . a new twist
>
>
> 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
>
>
> 2) The farm was used to produce produce .
>
> 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
>
> 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
>
> 5) He could  lead if he would get the lead out.
>
> 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
>
> 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
> present the present .
>
> 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
>
> 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
>
> 10) I did not object to the object.
>
> 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
>
> 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
>
> 13) They were too close to the door to close it.
>
> 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
>
> 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
>
> 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
>
> 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
>
> 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
>
> 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
>
> 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
>
>
> Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant,
> nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
> English muffins weren't invented in England or French
> fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
> sweet, are meat. We take English for granted.
> But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
> boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a
> pig.
>
> And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
> groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the
> plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One
> index, 2 indices?
> Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not
> one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and
> get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
>
> If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
> vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
> Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be
> committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people
> recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by
> ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
>
> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
> wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
> language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill
> in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
>
> English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
> creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That
> is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are
> out, they are invisible.
>
> Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?
>
>
> You lovers of the English language
> might enjoy this .
>
> There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other
> two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'
>
> It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the
> list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting,
> why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP
> for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report
>
> We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the
> silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the
> house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has
> real special meaning. People stir UP  trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP
> an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be
> dressed UP is special.
>
> And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped
> UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
>
> We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the
> proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized
> dictionary, it takes UP  almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about
> thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of
> the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you
> don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to
> rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is
> clearing UP.
>
> When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
>
> When it doesn't r ain for awhile, things dry UP.
>
> One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it  UP, for now my time is UP, so it
> is time to shut UP!
>
> Oh one more thing:
>
>
> What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you
> do at night? U----P
>
>
>

---------------------------------------------------
Technet Mail List provided as a service by IPC using LISTSERV 15.0
To unsubscribe, send a message to [log in to unmask] with following text in
the BODY (NOT the subject field): SIGNOFF Technet
To temporarily halt or (re-start) delivery of Technet send e-mail to [log in to unmask]: SET Technet NOMAIL or (MAIL)
To receive ONE mailing per day of all the posts: send e-mail to [log in to unmask]: SET Technet Digest
Search the archives of previous posts at: http://listserv.ipc.org/archives
Please visit IPC web site http://www.ipc.org/contentpage.asp?Pageid=4.3.16 for additional information, or contact Keach Sasamori at [log in to unmask] or 847-615-7100 ext.2815
-----------------------------------------------------

ATOM RSS1 RSS2