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October 2008

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From:
"Whittaker, Dewey (EHCOE)" <[log in to unmask]>
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TechNet E-Mail Forum <[log in to unmask]>, Whittaker, Dewey (EHCOE)
Date:
Mon, 13 Oct 2008 08:15:07 -0700
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Well I heard Larry the Cable Guy who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. Some of these are Steven Wrights and to the best of my knowledge, some of them are mine. But good jokes are like boiled eggs in the morning; they're hard to beat. So even though his career hasn't peaked, this plateau is a high form of flattery.
Sorry, I have to go. I forgot to pay my exorcist and I am afraid I'll get repossessed.
Dewey

-----Original Message-----
From: TechNet [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Phil Nutting
Sent: Friday, October 10, 2008 11:27 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: [TN] Friday NTC

Taken from Machine Design magazine.

Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy...

A day without sunshine is like night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
Support bacteria.  They're the only culture some people have.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.
Change in inevitable, except from vending machines.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
How many of you believe in psycho kinesis? Raise my hand.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Hard work pays off in the future.  Laziness pays off now.
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"
Light travels faster than sound.  That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Life isn't like a box of chocolates.  It's more like a jar of jalapeņos.
What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.


Have a good weekend.

Phil

Note: All the information contained in this e-mail and its attachments is proprietary to Kaiser Systems, Inc. and it may not be reproduced without the prior written permission of sender.  If you have received this email in error, please immediately return it to sender and delete the copy you received.

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