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June 2008

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From:
Phil Nutting <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
TechNet E-Mail Forum <[log in to unmask]>, Phil Nutting <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 11 Jun 2008 10:41:34 -0400
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This just happened to come "across my desk" and I thought it might tie into this thread.

Noah in 2008

In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in  the
United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become
wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before  me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a  few
good humans"

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You  have 6 months to build  t he
Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40  nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in
his yard - but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I
needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the  inspector
about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that
I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark
in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go
to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted  for the
future costs of moving power lines and other overhead
obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the
sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they
would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting
local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to
convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save
the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group
sued me.

They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their
will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and
it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd
conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the  Human Rights
Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my
building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card
status of most of the people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make  matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming
I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered
species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me  to
finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a
rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and
asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the  world?"

 "No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

Note: All the information contained in this e-mail and its attachments is proprietary to Kaiser Systems, Inc. and it may not be reproduced without the prior written permission of sender.  If you have received this email in error, please immediately return it to sender and delete the copy you received.

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