A first grade teacher in Austin, Texas, explains to her class that she is a Longhorn fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Longhorn fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl...
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, " Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Longhorn fan " she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked "Well, if you are not a Longhorn fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Sooner fan," Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears.
"Janie, WHY are you a Sooner fan?"
"Because my Mom is a Sooner fan, my Dad is a Sooner fan, so I am a Sooner fan also."
"Well" said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Sooner fan.
You don't have to be just like your parents all the time. What if your Mom was a snotty arrogant jackass
and your Dad was a snotty arrogant jackass, what would you be then?"
"Then" Janie smiled,"We'd be Longhorn fans."
****************************************************************************
Q: What does an University of Texas graduate say to an Oklahoma University grad?
A: Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?
Q: How do University of Texas grads park in the Handicap parking?
A: They stick their diploma on the front windshield.
Q: How many University of Texas football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. But he gets three credit hours, a new car, and about $5,000 in cash for it.
*************************************************************************
Albert Einstein goes to a party. He introduces himself to a lady and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?"
"240," she says. "Great, we can discuss the mysteries of the universe and other things. We have a lot we can talk about " he replies.
Later he is talking with a man and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?"
"145," he replies. "Great, we can talk about thermodynamics," says Albert.
Later he is talking to another gentleman and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?
"43," the man manages to say.
Einstein gets a puzzled look on his face for a minute then says, "How about them Longhorns?"
***********************************************************************
An University of Texas grad was swerving from left to right on the road in his car. He was doing this for five minutes.
Finally a cop pulls over and asks him, "Sir, why are you swerving from left to right?"
The UT grad replies, "Well officer I was driving along when I saw a tree. I had to move left until I saw another tree.
Practically everywhere I went, I saw a tree and I had to keep turning."
Then the cop said, "Sir, that's your air freshener."
****************************************************************************
Q: Do you know why the University of Texas installed artificial turf on their field?
A: To keep the homecoming queens from grazing on the ground, but now they can't keep the groundskeeper from mowing it.
****************************************************************************
Man walks into a bar in Austin, TX with a chihuahua that has little horns duct-taped to his poor little head.
Bartender say, "hey pal, no animals in the bar."
Man says, "I couldn't get a ticket to the game so me and my buddy just want to watch the game and have a beer.
He's the biggest longhorn fan you've ever seen. When the 'Horns score a field goal, he barks and runs around.
When they score a TD, he does a little flip and then stands on his hind legs and shakes his horns, it's hilarious."
Bartender says, wow if he's that big of a fan, I guess you can both stay but I'm curious...what does he do when the 'Horns beat OU?"
Man says, "I don't know. He's only 5 years old."
Luv ya' Bro'...
-Steve Gregory-
Jason Gregory <[log in to unmask]>
Sent by: TechNet <[log in to unmask]>
10/05/2005 10:46 AM
Please respond to TechNet E-Mail Forum <[log in to unmask]>; Please respond to Jason Gregory <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]@SMTP@Exchange
cc: (bcc: Stephen R Gregory/LABARGE)
Subject: Re: [TN] New IPC email forum
For this week only, let's start a "University of Texas gonna whoop Oklahoma
U" forum.
Jason Gregory
Manufacturing Engineer
Innova Electronics
(281)653-5593
(281)653-5594 fax
(281)212-0844 cell
[log in to unmask]
-----Original Message-----
From: TechNet [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of Franklin Asbell
Sent: Wednesday, October 05, 2005 10:05 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: [TN] New IPC email forum
With a show of hands (yes, we can see you) how many out there would be
interested in subscribing to an IPC email forum for pcb (rigid, flex,
rigid-flex, hi-rel, mil, etc) fabrication topics.
Franklin
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