As a Scotsman, perhaps Dougal Steward should provide us with some insight!!
----- Original Message -----
From: Hernefjord Ingemar<mailto:[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, January 23, 2009 9:48 AM
Subject: Re: [TN] English
- 'Sir, what train is that?
- 'It's the two to two to Tooting tooting.
Inge
-----Original Message-----
From: TechNet [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Mike Fenner
Sent: fredag 23 januari 2009 15:22
To: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: [TN] English
So do you think there are two too many ways to spell 'to' ?
Regards
Mike
-----Original Message-----
From: TechNet [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Werner engelmaier
Sent: Friday, January 23, 2009 1:59 PM
To: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: [TN] English
Well, Inge,
not only is pronunciation challenging, but there is at least one sentence that spoken makes perfectly good sense, but you cannot really write it:
There are three twos [tos, toos] in the English language.
Werner
-----Original Message-----
From: Hernefjord Ingemar <[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>
To: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Fri, 23 Jan 2009 8:50 am
Subject: Re: [TN] English
yeah...agree...not easy to pronounce english words..
no wonder some people don't understand a ounce
e.g 'ghoti'
anyone who can read what it is?
It's 'fish'
f as in laugh
i as in women
sh as in station
Inge
-----Original Message-----
From: TechNet [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Randall L Bock
Sent: fredag 23 januari 2009 14:25
To: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>
Subject: [TN] FW: English
Funny for the day....
From: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]> [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Friday, January 23, 2009 8:17 AM
To: Agacinski, Gerry; Barardi, Michelle; Bock, Cal and Kay; Randall L Bock; Brenda; Buckley, Joyce ; Burroughs, Larry; Butler, Beverly; Collins, Steve; Diane; Edwards, Beverly; Gileczek, Richard; Hafner, Denise; Janet; Krakowiak, Janet; Lane, Linda and Brad; Mann, Marjorie; Monica; Patton, Cherie; Wheat, Mike; Wheat, Pamela; Wilke, Mary Jo
Subject: English
Subject: English - interesting
THIS IS GREAT!!!
Read all the way to the end.............. This took a lot of work to put together!!!
You think English is easy???
Read to the end . . . a new twist
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce .
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present
the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant,
nor
ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France .
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We
take
English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing
rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce
and
hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of
booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2
indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you
have a
bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call
it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
for
the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at
a
recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet
that
smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wise
guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in
which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form
by
filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of
the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when
the
stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are
invisible.
Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?
You lovers of the English language
might enjoy this .
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other
two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the
list,
but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why
does a
topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election
and
why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the
silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the
house
and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real
special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an
appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be
dressed UP
is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped
UP. We
open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the
proper
uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary,
it
takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty
definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is
used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may
wind
UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding
UP .
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't r ain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so it
is
time to shut UP!
Oh one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at
night?
U----P
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