THE PARADIGM PARADOX
by Bill Schweber
Analog Devices, Norwood, Massachusetts
Scientific communicators are investigating the sudden drop-off in appearances
of the noun "paradigm." Literature citations of the word (known as "citings
of sightings") have decreased by 75 percent during the past year. The outlook
for next year is even worse: the word will have almost disappeared. More
research is needed to follow the progress of "paradigm" since it first
appeared in a widely read book ("The Structure of Scientific Revolutions," T.
S. Kuhn, 2nd edition, University of Chicago Press, 1970).
Hypotheses being proposed to explain this situation include global warming or
other environmental causes, "wear-out" (grinding down due to excessive use),
the dictates of fashion, and user confusion as to what "paradigm" actually
means.
A more advanced proposal from the Institute for Astronomical Linguistics is
that the life cycle of a word parallels the life cycle of stars. When use of
a word (or expression) grows slowly, it may become self-sustaining and
eventually embed itself into the common language, resulting in a very long
lifetime. In contrast, when usage flares up like a nova star, the mass of
meanings that the expression must support becomes too great, and the
expression suddenly collapses in on itself. In severe cases, it may become
like a star transformed into a black hole, never to be seen again.
Data is trickling in for our list of odd but genuine units of measurement.
Here is a random sampling. (We will publish a more complete list in the
September/October issue of AIR).
THE DUDLEY, a unit of height used by Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute
scientists to measure hydrothermal vents (also known as "black smokers") that
are found on the ocean floor. The unit refers to the height of Dudley Foster,
the five-foot-eight pilot of the undersea vehicle Alvin. (Submitted by
investigator Maggie Rioux.)
THE JOHNNY WALKER INCH, a unit of volume adopted by Malaysian freelance tin
dredgers who were paid by the amount of tin concentrate they recovered. A
Johnny Walker inch is the volume of material that would fill an empty Johnny
Walker Scotch whiskey bottle to a height of one inch. (Submitted by
investigator Robin Hall.)
THE MICROFORTNIGHT, a unit of time used in the documentation to Digital
Equipment Corporation's Open VMS operation system. (Submitted by
investigators Paul Tomblin, Stan Gifford, Reece Pollack, and Roland Seidl.)
THE SMOOT, a unit of length, defined to be the height of Oliver Smoot, Jr.,
used to measure the length of the Massachusetts Avenue Bridge between Boston
and Cambridge. The complete measurement of the bridge also makes use of a
related unit, THE EAR. (Submitted by several dozen investigators.)
THE SCOVILLE, a unit of hotness used in classifying hot peppers.
THE GARN, a volumetric unit named after U.S. Senator Jake Garn, who flew on a
space shuttle mission and spent much of that time vomiting. (Submitted by
investigator Paul Kolodner and several others.)
***
If you have know of a genuine genuinely odd unit of measurement--and can
document it--please mail or fax the documentation to:
Genuine Genuinely Odd Units Project
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
P.O. Box 380853
Cambridge, MA 02228
FAX: 617-661-0927
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